From: Nick.Wilson@ns.equant.com
X-Lotus-Fromdomain: EQUANT
To: chris@nildram.net
Date: Thu, 17 Sep 1998 09:48:35 +0100
Subject: Tech Support - Users !!

Chris - i don't recall seeing these on your webpage and they're quite good
.... Sidey :)





A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech Support: "Are you running it under Windows."
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door. But that's a good point...
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is
 working just fine."

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Tech Support: "How much free space do you have on your hard drive?"
Customer: "Well, my wife likes to get up there on that Internet, and
she  downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?"

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Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the
same  time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

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Overheard in a computer shop:
Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please."
Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety."
Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"

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I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document
back to  the sender when I was finished with it, because he needed to keep
it.

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Customer: "Can you copy the Internet for me onto this diskette?"

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I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that go something
like this:
Customer: "Hi... Is this the Internet?"

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Some people pay for their online services with checks made payable to
'The  Internet.'

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Customer: "So that will get me connected to the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Yeah."
Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Uhh... uh... uh... yeah."

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Tech Support: "All right... now double-click on the File Manager icon."
Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows - because of the icons - I'm
a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons."
Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't believe
it  was meant to..."
Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms.' I don't believe in
icons."
Tech Support: "Well... why don't you click on the 'little picture' of a
 file cabinet... is 'little picture' OK?"
Customer: [click]

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Customer: "My computer crashed!"
Tech Support: "It crashed?"
Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game..."
Tech Support: "All right then, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot it."
Customer: "No, it didn't crash -- it crashed!"
Tech Support: "Huh?"
Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before! I crashed the
spaceship, and now it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"
Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"

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